Josh Framm:
It's the gavel, sir.
Judge Cranfield:
What? Speak up!
[Dog Barking. Judge Cranfield bangs his Gavel in restoring order in the court. Dog barking]
Judge Cranfield:
Bailiff!
Bailiff:
You said speak.
[Dog barking]
Judge Cranfield:
Speak!
[Dog barking]
Judge Cranfield:
Will somebody please suppress that dog?
[Observers laughing]
Norm Snively:
Shh!
Judge Cranfield:
Oh, what a day. What a day.
[Judge Cranfield drinks his glass of water]
Judge Cranfield:
Ugh.
[Glass thuds]
Judge Cranfield:
Now then - young man, have you any evidence... that this man abused your dog? Did you ever see him hit the dog?
Josh Framm:
Well... no.
Judge Cranfield:
Then how did you know the dog was abused?
[light chuckle]
Josh Framm:
Because Buddy doesn't like him. Buddy's my friend. I know what he's feeling, so he knows what I'm feeling. I spilled beer all over my wife.
Jackie Framm:
He's telling the truth, Your Honor.
Judge Cranfield:
Who's that?
Bailiff:
Boy's mother.
Judge Cranfield:
Oh, it's all right, you may sp - You may address the court.
Jackie Framm:
When we first moved to this town, um, my son... was uh, very unhappy. And then he found Buddy here. And, um, Buddy's given him somebody to look forward to. Please, please, don't take Buddy away from my son.
Judge Cranfield:
Mrs. Framm, as far as this court is concerned, the dog is property unless you have evidence...
Jackie Framm:
Your Honor. All these people here did not come here because of a piece of property, Your Honor. They came here because of Buddy. He's part of this town. And he's part of the team, and he's part of our family now, Your Honor.
Norm Snively:
Well, he's part of my family, too!
[Crowds booing]
Norm Snively:
He's like a son to me!
[Crowds booing]
Norm Snively:
Aw, shut up!
[Judge Cranfield bangs his gavel in restoring order in the court. Dog barking. Court case of Snively vs. Framm just started and Timberwolves Coach Arthur Chaney just walked into the courtroom, unexpectedly]
Arthur Chaney:
Why not let the dog choose, Your Honor? They say a dog is man's best friend. If that's the case, shouldn't the dog be able to choose who he wants to be friends with?
Judge Cranfield:
Who are you, Barnum or Bailey?
Arthur Chaney:
Arthur Chaney, Your Honor.
Judge Cranfield:
Mr. Chaney, do you reali -
[stammers in shock]
Judge Cranfield:
Arthur Chaney? New York Knicks, '56? Huh. I was at that Celtics game where you did the turnaround jumper at the buzzer. I - I spilled beer all over my wife.
[Crowds laughter]
Bailiff:
Your Honor.
Judge Cranfield:
What? Oh, yes, yes, yes.
[Clears his throat. Bangs Gavel. Dog Barking]
Judge Cranfield:
Mr. Chaney.
Arthur Chaney:
Well, I've been thinking. Uh. This dog's what, three, four years old. That makes him an adult in our years. I say let Buddy decide.
[Observers murmuring]
Judge Cranfield:
Mr. Chaney, during my 40 years on the bench, I have heard a lot of lamebrain cockamanie proposals, but this one... I like.
